We’re often not the first to speak out loud, mostly voicing personal opinions in a group when asked. And when we do, sometimes we’re quick to undermine ourselves so that we don’t risk the chance of offending others or coming off as unintentionally cocky.
In the midst of all the self-doubt, we forget that talking isn’t really a strength—communication is.
Communication means clarity in your message, and tact in your delivery. It’s not about the quantity of words, but how the message gets understood by other people.
So no, having nothing to say isn’t to be looked down on, because simply talking for the sake of filling up silence doesn’t earn you any points in anyone’s books.
What’s worth more is allowing people to understand the things you say when you do, and how you make them feel about it.
If you injured your knee and needed surgery, you’d likely want to pass on the surgeon who’s never completed or observed a knee surgery at all.
It’s the same with a soon-to-be-married couple looking to commission a baker for their special moment.
Or a business hiring a product designer on an intensive 8 month contract.
A professional is needed in all cases, versus somebody who just wants to wing it.
The difference between the two is that professionals have plans. They have processes, procedures, and routines they follow that ensure a high probability of success.
We can be spontaneous when it comes to hobbies, but if we’re looking to take a step towards becoming professionals then we’ve got to be willing to commit to a plan.
We all have ideals of what’s supposed to be considered good.
A good lifestyle, good graphic design skills, a good diet, good taste, a good job, a good fashion sense, good morals, a good family, good driving, good presentations, good feedback, and the list could go on.
Everybody has a hot take. Oftentimes people will try to impose their good onto you when they fear their ideals are being challenged.
“I think you need to lose some weight” is someone else imposing their good sense of health onto you.
“I don’t think you should be spending your time watching Netflix shows” is someone else’s sense of productivity and time management.
“You should find a different job that pays more, you’ll be happier that way” is someone else’s idea of what a happy life could be.
The common theme amongst these statements is that they’re not alligned to what you believe. The response? Make it about them.
“I appreciate your sense of good health, tell me how you’re able to balance your work life and your healthy habits.”
“You have such masterful control of your life decisions. How do you do it?”
“I’m so amazed that you are able to live such a fulfilled life. How did you get there?”
Impose good, just not your good.