For a good milk tea, the two simple ingredients needed are milk and tea. Combining those two together creates a completely different beverage that’s different in taste and texture.
Of course, this isn’t really about milk tea. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes what we require is rather simple.
Healthy foods and exercise.
Sleep and meditation.
A single day off and good company.
Time to ourselves and kindness.
None of these are unobtainable, but sometimes we make it seem like what we need isn’t so simple even when it really is.
“Everybody loves it”—who’s everybody?
And on the other end, “Everybody hates it”.
Is the reality just 3 people out of 15? Or just one strong opinion from a singular person?
End-of-spectrum thinking leaves us little room to see better.
It could be more helpful to be more specific. For example, “Kate found a lot of value in x, because it helped her y. Going forward, we could z so that we can improve our product.”
Or on the other end, “Claire finds x annoying, because it detracts from what she really wants. In order to minimize this friction, we should y.”
Being more specific breaks the chunkiness from absolute thinking. It’s also more valuable to understand the context behind the opinions and advice we’re given from others than to accept them at face value.
Remember the idea that ran through your mind the other day? Remember how you trashed it the moment you gave it more thought because you thought nobody else would care?
Maybe the only reason it was trashy was because you didn’t think it was good enough.
Not the others, but you.
When we reject too often or too quickly, we never give anything a chance to see daylight.
Your trashy ideas and thoughts might just be the thing someone else needs (but they’ll never get to know it because it was thrown away a hair too early).
The more chances we give, the more likely we’ll get to make the changes we seek to make.